Yes, this is another TEST!
It’s been nearly thirty years since the film War Games was released. It is looked back upon as this neat “80s-proto-computer-kitschy-relic” of the 1st tech-nerd video game generation. And that’s a real shame. The film, especially, the last 45 minutes are as prescient and meaningful as any film since. Because as we become more and more tech savvy, with the constant barrage of newly “unveiled” gadgets that will promise to make us closer to the world, the world is becoming less likely give a fuck what we have to say….uh, I mean text. It’s just too busy. WE ARE TECH’D TO DEATH. You may be reading this on a device in the palm of your hand. But you might be seated (I know, how 2003!) at a desk. All these gizmos have no more power than what we give them, and we can use them in moderation. But it does not look like we are. You are being pushed more and more everyday to carry your entire life around in your pocket. You can even take a photo of your paycheck and “send” it to your bank account! Yep, absolutely no problems on the horizon there?
Now, in Hollywood’s infinite stupidity they are remaking War Games. Why? Duh, money that’s why. And of course shameless laziness. But aren’t all movies made to make money? Well, yes and no. A major studio will not back a major movie unless they have crunched the numbers and come up with plenty of profit. I feel great joy when a piece of crap tanks (see: Sucker Punch). But rarely is a lesson ever learned. War Games (and this was pre-home/cable/sales) was a risk. It had zero star power, but it had timing. It was made for about 10 million bucks (very nice budget back then, but they did have to reproduce NORAD after all?) and it took in 80 million (since). The proverbial lightning in a bottle. They bet on the right horse. So what is all this mess about? The movies, technology, consumerism, war, greed, unoriginality, the brilliant acting of Barry Corbin – not really. It’s about what the original War Games was about; the removal of a real human quality usurped by a human-like system.
Will the new War Games have anything new to say? Yes. Will it have anything important to say? Probably not. It’s already been said. But just like all the new fancy gizmos it will have more apps and a much, much, stronger push that you MUST see it or be left out in the cold of 21st century ignorance… er, cooool. The original War Games had no villains. The remake might empty the central casting villain factory. Technology has become a fashion accessory. Maybe we’ll reset ourselves? Or are we permanently set on [futile]? I wonder? Wait…no I don’t. I know. I know. Well, at least I think I do. I hope I’m wrong.
(pulls down screen with dinosaur film projected on it)
Dr. Stephen Falken
Then I’ll begin. Once upon a time, there lived a magnificent race of animals that dominated the world through age after age. They ran and they swam and they fought and they flew. Until suddenly, quite recently, they disappeared. Nature just gave up and started again. We weren’t even apes then. We were just these smart little rodents hiding in the rocks. And when we go, nature will start again. With the bees probably. Nature knows when to give up, David.
I’m not giving up. If Joshua tricks them into launching an attack, it’ll be your fault.
Dr. Stephen Falken
My fault? The whole point was to find a way to practice nuclear war without destroying ourselves. To get the computers to learn from mistakes we couldn’t afford to make. Except I never could get Joshua to learn the most important lesson.
Dr. Stephen Falken
Futility. That there’s a time when you should just give up.
What kind of a lesson is that?
Dr. Stephen Falken
Did you ever play tic-tac-toe?
Yeah. Of course.
Dr. Stephen Falken
But you don’t any more?
Dr. Stephen Falken
Because it’s a boring game. It’s always a tie.
Dr. Stephen Falken
Exactly. There’s no way to win. The game itself is pointless. But back at the war room, they believe you can win a nuclear war. That there can be…acceptable losses.
So you gave up? Decided to play dead?
Dr. Stephen Falken
For security reasons they graciously arranged my death. Did you know that no land animal with a body weight of over 50lb survived that age? Extinction is part of the natural order.
Bullshit! If we’re extinguished, it’s not natural. It’s just stupid!
Dr. Stephen Falken
Oh, it’s all right. I’ve planned ahead. We’re just three miles from a primary target. A millisecond of brilliant light and we’re vaporized. Much more fortunate than the millions who’ll wander sightless through the smoldering aftermath. We’ll be spared the horror of survival.
I’m only 17 years old. I’m not ready to die yet.
You won’t make a simple phone call?
If the real Joshua was still alive, your Joshua, you’d do it, wouldn’t you?
Dr. Stephen Falken
Look, we might gain a few years. Perhaps time enough for you to have a son and watch him die. But humanity planning its own destruction… That a phone call won’t stop.
This is unreal! You don’t care about death ‘cos you’re already dead. I know a lot about you I know you weren’t always like this. What was the last thing you cared about?
Dr. Stephen Falken
You’ve missed the last ferry. You’re welcome to stay. You want to sleep on the floor? Good night.
He made the call. And at least the computer learned the idea of futility. The only winning move is not to play.
Over the course of two-plus decades Louie C.K. (Louis Szekely/Louie) has become one of the funniest stand-ups going; and he got there by paying lots of dues. In the mid/late 1980s he was just another in a long line of comics grabbing mic time in any and every club or “space” that would have him. I recall his act back then; typical “stand-up” stuff but with plenty of attitude and an occasional nod as to what was to come. You could catch a bit of it here and there, the ear would grab onto a joke or observation that shot your eyebrow up. Then for years as he traversed a well worn path that comics navigate something very, very fortunate happened to him – he got his ass kicked, repeatedly. The old saying is right; it made him stronger.
Louie wrote for many major late night comedy shows; those gigs always end. He made a few cable specials; those almost always come and go. (his resume is easy to look up, no need to scroll through it here) And he even managed to make his own film – which tanked badly, very badly, but has rebounded in the “cult classic” section of film nerddom.
Then came, in 2006, his very own show on HBO, quite a coup for a stand-up comedian at any point in their career. That show, “Lucky Louie” lasted one single season. But that show, along with the 2007 “Shameless” special, people were now privy to a somewhat “new” kind of Louie. He was in the down-slide of a 14-year marriage. He had two young daughters (to even discuss them, he’s one to tear up with emotion, his love for them so strong) and after life had kicked his ass a shift seemed to occur. Louie C.K. was going to swing so fully into a massive honesty mode that the well-worn path he had gone down: every dive bar, every Yuck-Yucks, every two-bit comedy shack, would be obliterated into ash. Here was a man (a comic) who would not stand down, while standing up.
Cut to last year (2010) and the risk-taking FX network struck a deal with him for a new show just called, “Louie”. He wrote it. He directed it. He produced it. He even (and perhaps most importantly) edited it. The show was his to live or die with. To put is succinctly, season one knocked people flat on their asses. Many had never seen this type of “sitcom”(?). Sparse, simple, and reliant on content not characters (to badly paraphrase MLK) this show in 22 minutes would swing wildly from the most profanely (for TV) gut twisting funny to scenes of pure emotion and cultural touchstones certainly never seen on a standard sitcom. But this was not a case of “a very special episode of…” tripe. This was Louie on his honesty quest. Flights of pure fancy are always in the mix, but he would get down in the dirt, grime, and guts of the human behavior apparatus and stay there until you have laughed at things you would have never considered the least bit funny, even as a premise. And you would laugh because he was right. He took you there for your own good.
Two more solo specials were to come. “Chewed Up” 2008 (the bravest stand-up performance since “Richard Pryor: Live In Concert” -1979) then more recently, “Hilarious” 2011. In these specials and his television show he has been relentless in not ever being the slightest bit afraid to say ANYTHING, because he has honed his act to such perfection, such precision, that he and maybe only he alone, can get away with a joke about rape being okay, -because if you want to fuck someone and they won’t let you? He will go anywhere he feels there needs to be comic exploration. He embodies this daring in much the same way George Carlin did –let’s talk about it. Mega-comic star Chris Rock said recently while talking to Louie that he was “the blackest white guy I know”. To which Louie shot back, “You mean I’m so black I’m a nigger.” Louie does long monologues on the words nigger, faggot, etc. He says them over and over again. How can he do this? Simple, he’s funny and smart. One wrong pause, one off inflection, one slight teeter to either side of the delivery or tone and the standard comic would be doomed. And none other than Jerry Seinfeld has remarked that Louie can tap dance through a maze of 100 laser beams unscathed to get to the comedy of any subject. To read such…you are repelled. To hear such…you laugh. That is the grand high-wire act Louie C.K. is on right now. Yes, he will say that and that and that and that. And one of his main targets is always himself because no one is safe and danger starts at home.
We’re only 2 episodes in on only the 2nd season of “Louie” and one can tangibly FEEL the freedom at work. He can seemingly go anywhere, tackle any subject, say any-fucking-thing that has even a remote chance of getting on TV (plus they just bleep shit). But the real telltale sign is when the show is drastically NOT funny. There have been more than a few scenes when you might feel yourself well up with emotion. Then, on a dime, it’s a sledgehammer of a torrid sex joke spiked right in your brain. So, no misleading implied, “Louie” IS FUCKING FUNNY. Take the time; the scene below is an opening bit from the 2nd episode of season 1. The people are playing themselves; they are Louie’s friends not characters he has written (none are even actors). And they have a conversation. This conversation encapsulates just about every note one may want to know about Louie C.K. the person and the performer. Unbridled, emotionally and comically – but most importantly it’s honest. With every word, it’s honest. Deal with that.
CLICK ON THE VIDEO HEADLINE/STRAIGHT TO YOUTUBE!
(and as they say, check your local listings for airtime)
Miss America, Miss USA, Miss Universe, wait – Miss Universe? 50% of the lizard brains in the country won’t even concede the world is more than 6,000 years old, yet we can somehow tell by dazzling baton twirling skills that some lone woman is, uh, er, um, the greatest women is the entire fucking Universe? How have we not evolved past this idiotic cheesecake buffet ceremony? To take pot shots at the contestants alone is an exercise of not just taking candy from a baby, but naming the baby Candii and skimming a pound of blush across the baby’s face with a trowel and ordering it to “work that stage” with its 5 year-old booty. If your “dream of a lifetime” is to win a beauty pageant good for you I say. But it would be a disservice not to mention your “dream of a lifetime” is utter bullshit that exists only out of the feeble mentality of rich men who don’t have the courage to wear their mother’s clothing. Not to mention the scholarships, charity and other do-gooder-ness that pose as the backbone to these displays could all be easily accomplished by the stroke of a pen at the bottom of a large check by the very Corps. which “own” these things.
But it’s tradition! Yeah, well, so was diphtheria and Amos & Andy. Yet we somehow got beyond those. Sure “beyond those” is American Idol, Dancing With The Stars etc, but at least that shit offers the possibility of public humiliation on a massive and brutal scale. And isn’t that what we really want? We don’t want some panel of f-list celebs to be judge and jury, WE WANT THAT JOB! Your evening gown is horrid. Your rendition of “You Light Up My Life” made me want to starve myself to death. Your question and answer portion was like enduring the guy from Sling Blade deconstructing King Lear. And your swimsuit looked like a swimsuit on a woman we all just envision nude anyway. Lucky for us this will last roughly 6 hours!
One of the best, if not thee best part of “the beauty pageant” is the host’s reading of the sacred, “if for any reason, Miss -Whatever- can not fulfill her obligation for the entire year…” What those obligations are, precisely, would have to include me doing some actual research and poking around, but instead I think I’ll just jam a railroad spike in my left eye socket. (I’m a righty.) I’m thinking it must involve using giant prop sized scissors to cut a ribbon at a new Buick dealership, handing out a giant prop sized check to a horse riding camp which needs a new corral or barn, or whatever the fuck is at a horse riding camp? Horses? And of course lots of travel, from The Today Show (for her views on Congressional war powers) to giving a riveting speech about the dangers of drugs to a class of completely stoned 10th graders.
Of the 3 biggies in the pageant world, America, USA, and Universe, the big bosses behind all three are, you guessed it, two men! Sam Haskell, III, Miss America Chairman and Donald J. Trump, Miss USA, Miss Universe, Miss Teen USA, Chairman. And let me tell you something…that friggin’ Trump knows friggin’ class when he friggin’ sees it. Why do you think he bankrolls three of these suckers, because he’s deeply concerned about the futures of young women throughout the world? Nope. You think that broad he’s married to now is gonna hold up? She must be 27-28, by now! Those things are his farm leagues. My man is nurturing young talent, scouting it out, and will pull the trigger when he thinks one is ready for the BIG SHOW, The Trumpster sidekick gig. There’s your “obligation” right there. (the announcer near the end of this clip has ALL the vital stats any young woman should have broadcasted.)
Now we enter the womb of it all, the heart of darkness as Conrad called it, child beauty pageants, – namely Toddlers & Tiaras. Even the mere title is enough to induce my gag reflex. Can there be two more inappropriate words to couple? Why not a show called Cooking with Chlamydia or Drunken NASCAR? (Wait, I’d watch that one. Fuck, I’d make popcorn & put on my jammies.) Keep in mind this most repellant of programs in aired on The Learning Channel. And just what is this network trying to “learn” me? Voyeuristic pedophilia? That certainly must be a much-ignored subject, FOR A FUCKING REASON. If I want to see an image of a child brainwashed into looking like a 29-year old Trenton, New Jersey Hooters waitress I’ll go to a Hooters in Trenton and look for a dwarf serving chicken wings.
And the mothers…
These monstrosities are almost invariably obese, fast food fueled, chain smoking stage-demons which can’t even pretend to hide the fact they are trying to live out some fantasy Barbie doll life through the still semi soft skulls of their poor, poor, daughters. Here’s your thumbnail: Imagine Jabba The Hut fire-hosing a can of Aqua Net on the ‘doo of Tinkerbelle; all the while ever so slightly implying they are the only hope for mommy to find a new man to take care of her… (forgetting that Jabba The Hut, I think was a dude?) After them it’s mainly a heard of beefy gay fellas who have no other real motivation than to be fabulous! It’s just that they need to do so on their own, not via Nevaeh who’s only seven but is on a first name basis with the Korean lady who owns the tanning salon in the strip-mall by her house.
People, people, people; I’m not calling for an end to beauty pageants. I’m not saying there should be a law against them. I’m not saying they (the adult ones) are immoral, unethical, or harmful. I’m just saying they are incredibility fucking stupid. And by proxy make the rest of us look stupid. I’m saying they should be shunned. Women only gained the right to vote in 1920. To this day a women only makes 59.7 cents to every dollar a man does for the same job. So isn’t it time, in 2011 that perhaps they stop walking around a stage to be judged on what they look like to win a prize? And don’t even hand me some rationalized shit that it’s really about anything more eloquent than that. Be honest. You know that’s what it is. Start with the truth and maybe we’ll get somewhere. As for the mothers who stick their children in these goddamn things – take the Big Gulp Mountain Dew out of your mouth for a second, put down the issue of Us Weekly, turn off the repeat of Extreme Home Makeover and wipe the shit off your daughter’s face. Let her go play with other normal children. Ya’ know, the ones that don’t have mascara, fake eye lashes and a pancake foundation on at 8 AM.
In 1840 a process known as daguerreotype was invented by (of course) a French gent named Louis-Jacques-Mandé Daguerre, thus photography was born. About 11 seconds later some guy took a photo of a naked lady. And we were off. Leap ahead about a century and a half and the basic premise hasn’t changed. Consider what American political history would be like without the precious sex scandal? You’d have a nation of people sitting around (well about 10% of a nation) and speculating about what a political figure may or may not do in the context of legislation, a policy or law. I almost fell asleep typing that fucking sentence. We want sex! Then we want lying! Because if there’s anything you need to lie about it’s sex. Hell, it makes it sexier.
Let’s look back on just a micro sampling of political sex scandals and see what meant what, who did who, and why I don’t care and nor should you…sometimes. Might as well start with the Grand-Bubba, – there is a sex scandal demarcation line now, Pre-Clinton & Post-Clinton. He’s the Elvis of beltway bonging, minus the muttonchops.
President Bill Clinton (D-AR): 1992-2000. Bill apparently nailed every stewardess & cocktail waitress from sea to shining sea. Getting elected POTUS didn’t even stop the top horn dog. He did have sexual relations with that woman. Yet somehow my life continued to go on? Now, let’s not get in the weeds of the “it was the lies not the sex” because that will cycle on forever. But Bill got impeached for one dip too many and on the same day received a standing ovation at the UN (because the UN is filled with filthy foreigners). But Bill & Hill are still married to this day. And this is the lesson we take from here on out – WE DON’T KNOW ANYBODY. Maybe it really wound Hill’s watch to have Bill put it to her while he told her which discount hairdresser offered to crawl across oval office carpet for him? I can’t tell you that happened and you can’t tell me it didn’t. That’s the point, we don’t know. Well, maybe Vince Foster knew? Bottom line: 2 terms of relative peace, massive prosperity, and a 36-year marriage. They even out-married the Gores?
Sen. John Ensign (R-NV): 2001-2011. This guy’s mess is like one of those Mexican soap operas that are always on the TVs in the restaurants where us gringos eat (the chics are always super hot, but who the hell knows what’s going on, so we watch until the salsa is refilled). For a year (at least) John was banging the wife of one of his top aides. When the hubby got wind of the affair Ensign forked over 90 something grand (funneled through his mommy & daddy) plus a job to hush him up. Problem was, the cash wasn’t his, it was yours. Keep in mind during the year(s) of the baufing all parties involved would have many dinners & vacations together. I cannot confirm, but I believe this is the plot to at least 6 Woody Allen movies. Anyway, the Feds got involved, his friends turned states (although no one in his party called for his resignation), and the hammer got dropped. Dude really went the route. There’s so much more I’m not even going to get into it. That’s why there’s the internets, the series of tubes, for all this information. Bottom line: crime committed, took years but, out on his ass. Without the money, who gives an ‘eff.
Rep. Gerry Studds (D-MA): 73-97 & Rep. Dan Crane (R-IL): 79-85. These two cretins avoided jail by only the calendar. In 1983, talk about a “different time”, Studds & Crane (hey, that could be an offensive construction company!) had this hobby of having sex with Congressional pages who were 17. The age of consent in D.C. is 16. This was either very lucky for them or very devious; because if they were making sure that they just beat the clock they should have been put under a prison. The fact that they were homosexual affairs is germane IN NO POSSIBLE CONTEXT. The fact that they abused their position of authority to pork kids is heinous. That’s what the Catholic Church is for. The result – the two being censured! Yes merely censured and that is mind numbing. Hell, they kept getting re-elected?! At least the House Page Board came out of the ordeal. Seems Mark Foley however never got that memo. (Do your own work on that one) Bottom line: should have been good riddance to the both of them.
Rep. Eric Massa (D-NY): 2008-2010. This blockhead was a meltdown during a train wreck inside a brain injury. Eric liked to grope his staff, not his staff, but his staff, and use “salty sexual language” around the office. When the moron wasn’t going on and on about his lengthy marriage he’d never shut up about being in the Navy. Guess what doofus? Didn’t help. Why not tell everyone you were also a ninja and quote from the then current issue of Penthouse? In a single day of damage control he confessed to tickling and groping a staffer to the point where they couldn’t breathe – cut to about 3 hours later when he denied he had ever done any such thing. Then there’s the “snorkeling”? Bottom line: don’t fondle the help, other than that this guy was just too stupid to be in Congress. And just consider how low that bar is?
Sen. Bob Packwood (R-OR): 1969-1995. This scuzzbag was like the Ty Cobb of sexual harassment and abuse for more than 2 decades. And just remember what a scuzzbag Ty Cobb himself was. Beginning in 1992 some 30 women came forth with charges of all manner of sexual abuse. Packwood stonewalled, hoping no proof would come forward to lend credit to any allegations. But what this Titanic douchbag didn’t count on was the diary he kept of his “sexual prowess” to hit daylight and then get jammed right up his own ass. He was shown the door and became…surprise, a lobbyist! Guys with comb-overs, never trust a guy with a comb-over. Bottom line: Fuck that guy. I hope a skinhead the size of Shaquille O’Neal gets him in a prison shower some day. Just like Shawshank, I hope…
Rep. Wilbur Mills (D-AR): 1939-1977. Indulge me, this is just a personal favorite. Wilbur as you can read was in the House for like 4000 years. Wilbur got his Arkansas groove on with an Argentinean stripper named Franne Foxe. Wilbur got busted, but got re-elected with 60% of the vote (but this was 1974, his opponent was a woman and it was Arkansas). But then to try to clear things up with the public he gave a press conference. Just two small problems – One, the press conference took place in Franne’s dressing room at a strip joint. And two, Wilbur was utterly and completely shit-faced for the whole thing. Bottom line: I LOVE THIS GUY! (Too bad he was married)
Rep. David Vitter (R-LA): 2005- present. LA Rev Stat 14:82 to 14:86 / DC Code Sections 22-2701 to 22-2723. Those are the Louisiana and D.C. criminal codes for prostitution and solicitation thereof. Vitter broke both those laws, a lot. I mean, dude broke the fuck out of those suckers. He was busted in part by Larry Flynt who via Hustler magazine put out a bounty on any sanctimonious, family values, lying, gasbag out there. The fact the Vitter was replacing the seat left vacated by Bob Livingston, who Flynt also nabbed is cosmic funny. Do not mess with a pornographer in a gold wheelchair. But Vitter and his backers went all “Jimmy Swaggert-I have sinned against you my Lord” and after he dragged his wife out to a gawd awkward press conference (she looked like she’d rather be answering the phones at the Hustler offices), it was just a chorus of “confession” “family matter” “tisk tisk” and the guy still sits in the House of Representatives reeling off gems about gay marriage, calling it a “real outrage, with the Hollywood left redefining the most basic institution in human history. We need a U.S. Senator who will stand up for Louisiana values” Those values? Banging whores for cash. (maybe Visa was accepted?) Bottom line. Do the crime because nobody gives a shit about the crime, only the sin. If there were to surface a Packwood/Vitter sex tape I would read to blind orphans 7 days a week.
Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY) 1999-2011. Some broad asked for a photo of his dick. He sent her one. Played “doctor” over the Internet w/ others. I don’t give a fuck. Thank Our Lord & Savoir Jesus Christ of Nazareth that he resigned. Our great nation is now safer & more dignified.
Sorry, the whole Larry Craig thing bores me & I find it to be utterly meaningless. It’s just sad when someone is so locked in the closet, afraid to live a life of their own choosing because we’re such a juvenile & prudish country. Sure, blowjobs in public restrooms are illegal. So write ‘em a ticket and move it along. Big fucking goddamn deal. Hypocrisy’s a bitch though when you have a pesky “voting record”.
Bottom line of bottom lines: If you’re going to actually touch somebody you better well know they wished to be touched. Solicitation of a prostitute is illegal in both LA. & D.C. Campaign funds cannot be used for hush money. And it’s no accident that this is a boys club, as I could not think of a single female national office holder that got caught with one bra cup off. Did I mention don’t ever mess with a pornographer in a gold wheelchair? I did? Okay, then we are good to go.
Last week, President Obama awarded German Chancellor Angela Merkel the Presidential Medal of Freedom – America’s highest civilian award. The Executive Order establishing the award allows the President to bestow it upon “any person who has made an especially meritorious contribution to (1), the security or national interests of the United States, or (2) world peace, or (3) cultural or other significant public or private endeavors.”
Which sounds like a big deal. And it was – for a while. Harry Truman instituted the award in 1945, handing out 18 of them during his tenure, mostly to worthy unknowns like Margaret Utinsky, a nurse who worked with the Filipino resistance movement in World War II. Eisenhower and Kennedy continued in this vein, awarding 8 and 6 Medals of Freedom, mostly to people you’ve never heard of who provided clearly valuable service to the United States.
Upon entering office, Lyndon Johnson began scattering around Medals of Freedom in a seemingly random pattern, awarding 61 of them to worthies including a dead pope, a Spanish cellist, and some guy named Clarence (who managed to get an elementary school in Michigan named after him, so there’s that) Vietnam slowed Johnson down and sobered him up (at least metaphorically) – LBJ didn’t award any Medals of Freedom for the next few years, and after that his winners were mostly folks who were really good at killing Vietnamese people.
Subsequent presidents have honored LBJ’s legacy by bestowing the Medal of Freedom on especially meritorious citizens including Andy Griffith, Nancy Reagan, Arnold Palmer, and entertainer / Polident spokesperson Martha Raye (a Clinton MoF honoree who married a bisexual guy 33 years her junior – Bill does like the kinky ones). In a little over two years, President Obama has given out 31 Medals of Freedom, putting him on pace to absolutely shatter the Medal of Freedom Bestowal record of 88 (set by Clinton, of course), should Obama manage to win a second term.
Anthony Weiner tweets a picture of his boxer-brief clad bulge to some woman who is not his Beloved Wife and the media goes into a pure tizzy. (Though it’s not the act itself, it’s the lying about it that’s so very awful.) Weiner has shown himself to be a Threat to the Republic. He must either resign or be put down like the sick dog he is.
All this is a lot more fun than yet another dismal unemployment report – 9.1 percent, with only 54,000 jobs added last month – about 200,00 less than we need to keep up with workforce population growth.
Maybe if Labor Secretary Hilda Solis tweeted the unemployment numbers in some cute little number from Victoria’s Secret.